Dr Nkosana Zuma's medical terms for Cuban doctors

ARTERY: The study of paintings. BACTERIA: Back door of cafeteria

BARIUM: What to do with dead pa-tients.

BOWEL: a, e, i, o, u

CAESARIAN SECTION: A suburb of Rome.

CATSCAN: A search for kitty.

COLIC: A sheepdog.

D & C: Where Washington is.

DILATE: To live longer.

ENEMA: Not a friend.

FESTER: Quicker.

HANG NAIL: Coat hook.

IMPOTENT: Distinguished, well known.

LABOUR PAIN: Get hurt at work. MEDICAL STAFF: Doctor's walking cane.

MORBID: A higher offer.

NITRATES: Cheaper than day rates.

OUTPATIENT: Person who fainted.

PAP SMEAR: Fatherhood test.

PELVIS: Cousin of Elvis.

POST OPERATIVE: A letter carrier.

RECOVERY ROOM: Place to do uphol-stery.

RECTUM: Damn near killed him.

NODE: Acknowledgement of a greet-ing.

SCIATIC: Attic with a sky view.

SEIZURE: Roman emperor.

TABLET: Small table.

TERMINAL ILLNESS: Getting sick at airport.

URINE: Opposite of 'You're out.

VEIN: Conceited.

TUMOUR: An extra two.