Kalanga dads 'do' their duty

A PECULIAR tribal ritual, which will delight the fellas and horrify the girls has come to light.

It was learnt of during a recent Zimbabwe court case where a woman was charged with torching her father-in-law's house.

It seems he continually persisted in demanding a bit of hanky panky with her. The woman, from the Kalanga tribe ended up in jail, apparently happy to be there. Kalanga wedding nights aren't what westerners might call a night of bliss Ð especially for the groom, it seems. The reason? Father-in-law gets to bed the bride instead of the young bloke!

And seeing as how multiple marriages aren't unknown in that part of the world, a guy's dad could be in for a lifetime of breaking in nubile young maidens -particularly if he happens to have half a dozen sons! Among the Kalanga -the tribe to which political leader Joshua Nkomo belongs -sex between a father-in-law and daughter-in-law is not only permissible, but compulsory.

Raphael Bhutshe, a staunch Kalanga traditionalist, told a reporter from the Mail & Guardian their young men were not allowed to have sex with their wives until the head of their families officially "approved" them. There were no dissenters or protests usually.

Kalangas claim they have practised this tradition for centuries. "Among my people, sex between a father-in-law and daughter-in-law is an initiation act never to be ignored," Bhutshe said. Besides being a way of welcoming a new bride into the households, the father-in-law is also believed to be more experienced in determining a bride's virginity. A Kalanga father presides over all domestic disputes, Bhutshe said, and a daughter-in-law who had sex with him would "have absolutely no inhibitions when she reports matters concerning her sexuality".

But there is a restriction: sex between the father-in-law and his son's wives can only happen on the wedding night. Dumisani Ncube was not satisfied with one night only. Marita Ncube told the court that she had been pestered by her randy father-in-law who wanted to have sex with her regularly. "I don't want any more of it. I will never do it again and that is why I burned down his house."

Stand by now for a worldwide Kalanga Appreciation Society!




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